Monthly Archives: November 2013

What is it about women??


Romans Ch 1 verses 30-32
30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

Guys listen, I’m under no illusion that I’m perfect. I have done loads of not nice things in my lifetime, I could list several but honestly….God has forgiven and forgotten, so why would I need to recount them here? I’m not saying I’ve never been guilty of gossip, I’m sure as a teenager I probably did help perpetuate some…..but the thing is as I’ve grown up (I’m 30) I’ve grown in wisdom as well and as I have God has taken away from me the will to gossip. In my lifetime God has allowed me to be the victim of gossip many times, and through that I have been refined in many areas. So, while I can’t stand a gossip….I have used their hurtfulness to my advantage,

What can you possibly learn from a gossip? A backbiter? An unmerciful friend? A implacable friend?

Quite a bit actually…..

I learned to conduct myself in a manner so that when someone slanders me, nobody believes it.

I learned to guard myself against even the slightest appearance of impropriety.

I learned that not everyone who claims to be Christian bears the fruit that proves it.

I learned that women, more than men, are bent towards backbiting.

I learned that if someone consistently is backbiting and gossiping to you, then as soon as you’ve passed on by them they’re backbiting and gossiping about you.

I learned that a friend who is unmerciful towards others, will be unmerciful towards you as well.

I learned that you shouldn’t bother to attempt to placate the implacable friend, the issue is very rarely what you aren’t doing and more likely what they are lacking.

I have a question though, for you my readers…..

What’s your take ??? What do you think makes women more bent towards this than men? What is your experience with these issues?

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10 percent…..


Hey I’m gonna preach again on quality time so just let me get up and go grab my soapbox ūüėČ

God commanded Israel to give him 10 percent of all their first fruits. That is not very much to ask.
What if we took that a step further though, what if….we tithed 10 percent of our TIME as well.

What would happen if you devoted 2.45 hours each day to your husband and children?

Advent season is upon us, what is advent season? It is the season of anticipation, a season we spend eagerly awaiting the birth of our Savior right? Yes…that’s right. I think we should take just a moment though to reason together about this though, because it really is much deeper than it seems on the surface.

Christ came down from heaven, he was born, so that he could recapture our hearts and reconcile us to him.

What if we took that 2.45 hours each day and used it to recapture the hearts of our spouse and children. What if we gave that time completely to our families, no distractions…..turn off the cell, turn off the iPad, turn off the Facebook and twitter. What would happen?

What if we used 1 hour of that time as I said yesterday and gave it to our spouse and then the other 1.5 hours we devoted as a whole family doing something together that brings us closer together. Having dinner together, reading stories, making Jesse tree ornaments, bible readings for advent season….there are endless possibilities. What if we did that?

What better season than advent to recapture the hearts of your family and reconcile ourselves to them, forsaking everything else. Sure you might have a good marriage, a great family life…..but could giving them that 2.5 extra hours each day really hurt???

Nobody ever ended up in marriage counseling complaining that their spouse gave them to much time and devotion.

yanno, he just loves me to much…everyday he gives me an hour of undivided attention and he prays with me and over me….and SHE…SHE makes sure to make my favorite meals and turn off the cell phone and iPad and give me her undivided attention and she ALWAYS sits next to me during that hour…..

And nobody ever ends up in family counseling saying, well that 2.5 hours a day of undivided attention is just to much!

my parents they spend an hour together and then they spend an hour and a half with us, and we aren’t allowed to use cell phones during that time and we all have to eat dinner together and we have to talk and associate and make crafts and play games and one time……one time they even took me to see the Christmas lights!!!!! HOW DARE THEM!!!

What will happen, is you’ll find your family stronger, even if it was already strong.

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Saint Mommy The Martyr


mom, mama, mum, mummy, mom, mommy, mumma, mom, mom, mommy………..

Sometimes I look at my children after a particularly hard day and I tell them that my name has now changed, they may now call me ANYTHING except MOM or MOMMY. I really don’t mean I’m not their mom anymore, I just mean…..I need a break from being pulled at, tattled to, and yelled for. I usually sit the kids down and make them declare a 30 minute TRUCE or ATLEAST a ceasefire for the thirty minutes prior to my husband arriving home from work. I send them off to their rooms telling them not to speak to each other or me unless the house catches fire or they are bleeding ;). They know what I mean by that….they know I’m still mommy, I still love them but mommy needs a few minutes alone to prepare for dad to come home.

WHY?

Ladies, you need that few minutes….everyone needs it. We need to take time to go check the mirror and see how rough we look from the battles of the day and fix that. We need to take time to look in the mirror, did we wear this outfit yesterday (and the 2 previous days as well)? Go change! Then MAKE YOUR Bed and LAY ON it and close your eyes and MENTALLY PREPARE yourself to greet hubby and be WIFE.

Maybe, you’re like me….my husband is Deputy Sheriff and he works 2 mos of days(6a-6p) and 2 mos of nights (6p-6a). When he is on the overnights, I usually take the kids off to the library to do their schooling…it helps the house be extra quiet and he can rest, I make the effort to be home around the time he usually wakes up and when his feet hit the floor, school is o-v-e-r.

I’m not saying WORSHIP your husband, I’m just saying remember you’re more than just a mom.

I’m not saying worship your spouse, all I am saying is we need to keep in mind that our MARRIAGE is the foundation upon which our families are built. If we aren’t taking TIME to invest into being good wives…then in our folly, we are tearing down our own house. I’m not a super good submissive wife, I’m definitely a “type A”, I don’t have to be super good, I don’t have to be a doormat but I am required to invest my time, efforts and energy. as much or more into my marriage as I do my homeschool!

Ladies, I know we were designed to nurture!

Ladies, I know we were designed to nurture! I mean for Pete’s sake, we are the carriers of the children, we have the boobs, we do the feeding! I get it! I too carried my little ones in my womb and gave them their lifeblood, I breastfed (4 years in a row TANDEM). I understand. Your children were born, laid upon your chest and you looked at them and thought

THIS is my entire world

One by one as each child was born, each became your world, your center, your focus, your LIFE. My 2 likewise are all those things to me….but we must be careful to remember that there is more in our lives than just our children.

Kids are great! But one day…they grow up and leave and cleave to their own spouses

Our children are great, we would give them our last breath, last bite of food, last drop of water, donate our hearts to them, we would sacrifice it all for our children. Lets get real though, that is rarely required and we don’t need to go around sacrificing our marriages at the altar of teaching little Johnny arithmetic…..or teaching little Susie to read…..and certainly not at the altar of building our childrens “self confidence, self image,…whatever you want to name” up so far in importance that they overtake the very foundation upon which they stand….our marriages!

BE THEIR ROLE MODELS IN MARRIAGE

Allow your children the privilege of seeing what a healthy marriage looks like, so that one day they too may enjoy and reap the benefits of one. Your children will live what they see at home.

Do not become Saint Mommy The Martyr

Don’t let your kids see you be Saint Mommy The Martyr sacrificing all…your time, your efforts, your energy, your marriage at the feet of the altar of themselves. Instead give your kids 23 hours a day sure but RESERVE at least 1 AWAKE hour every day and devote that hour to having time with your spouse….turn on a movie, let it be your babysitter, go sit in the next room and even if all you do is lay your head in his lap, or his in yours, and even if all you do is fall asleep holding hands for that 1 hour…..you have set the example. You have shown your children that your marriage is important, it is vital, and you are INVESTED in it. Not only that but you’ve shown your SPOUSE that he/she just as important to you as your children and your homeschool.

NO CHILD ever ended up in counseling complaining that their parents loved each other to much

It’s true…..no child ever ended up as an adult in therapy saying “gosh yanno, my mom she just loved my dad to much and they took this hour away from me everyday and they just went in the den and made us kids stay in the living room and they sat in there and had a conversation! Would you believe that!! They went in there and held hands and talked and they told us not to interrupt them! They sat in there sometimes and all they did was hold hands and fall asleep! ABUSE, ABUSE AND NEGLECT I say”

Uhmmmm, are you seeing how absurd that would be? NO child EVER ended up damaged because their parents loved each other and devoted time to their marriages……so stop what you’re doing….catch a nap time, an hour after bedtime, an hour before awake time….just whenever there is an AWAKE HOUR and don’t you dare tell me your spouse is never awake at the same time you are……and devote that hour to strengthening your marriage even if that hour is spent just sitting down savoring the quiet ;).

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Homeschooling Boys (PT 2)


So yesterday, I explained that boys NEED to exercise in order to be able to achieve better academically. ¬†Definitely don’t just make him run in the morning and then seat him for 8 hours though! A single episode of exercise is not enough. Anytime your son becomes fidgety or distracted to the point that you are ready to PULL YOUR (and his ) HAIR OUT¬† go ahead, get up take him outside or into your living room and EXERCISE HIM. ¬†Teach him to manage himself and tell you when he needs this (and not to abuse it). My son is 10, when he reaches that point he will ask to go to the bathroom a hundred times in an hour and finally he will just look at me and say mom, can I do some push-ups or something?

Yes, he ASKS to do them now..especially during math when he comes to a problem that has him stumped he will stop do 10 or 15 quick push-ups and usually he will get up and finish and do much better than he does if I just nag at him and tell him he’s not getting up until its done. I am not suggesting you spend all day doing math (or anything else) in order to accommodate this, no not at all.

Boys by nature, work better when they’re trying to WIN at something.

Boys, by nature, work better when they’re trying to win something. So, set a goal and give a prize! Set it and give him his assignment, the next day tell him you’re gonna set it for something (anything) slightly better than the day before…like maybe he usually makes a 93 in math and you’re setting the goal that today is the day he makes the 94 or 95. ¬†This is not to rush or overexert¬†because rushing and overexertion lead to mistakes, explain that to him up front. It is a fact that boys like to win. Boys don’t even care what the prize is, they just are wired for the pursuit.

God knew what he was doing, he knew men would have to be in constant pursuit of finding and bringing things back to meet the needs of a family.

It’s all God….he designed men and set their purpose as provider, protector, etc. for every purpose God set for men, he built in a mechanism (which drive women crazy quite often) to help man accomplish those purposes. ¬†God even says it right in his word in several places, I’ve ordained you from your mothers womb, I know the plans I have for you, I knit you together, etc etc. ¬†All throughout God’s word, he tells us that he has set a purpose…….You need to trust that mama. You need to know that no matter how DIFFERENT¬† your son is, he is the way he is because he was designed to be just who he is by God in order that GOD’s (not your) purpose can be achieved through and in his life.

Men (and boys) I know they’re from Mars ladies, you don’t have to tell me because I’ve noticed!

They’re aliens to us! That said, men are different from us because we are meant to¬†complement, not imitate one another! ¬†We must remember that! ¬†When your little martian is speaking the foreign language we call “boy” just remember….one day he will be speaking “man” and you are responsible for molding¬†that man. ¬† So see to it that you discover what it takes to help him become a man you’ll be proud to call son. ¬†Thats the goal in this “homeschooling boys” series….to bring to light some facts so that you mamas (like me) who are struggling through homeschooling a boy (who is a martian) can raise up a generation of great leaders, family men, men you’ll be surprised by……the man that right now you may look at your little martian and think….GAHHHHH HE WILL BE DOING 6TH GRADE FOREVER AND EVER AMEN¬†¬†He won’t….not if you spend some time gaining understanding in what makes boys tick.

¬†I really credit Hal and Melanie Young and their Book “Raising Real Men” with teaching me SO MUCH. ¬†It is an ABSOLUTE must read for all homeschooling (or not) mom’s of boys. All this wisdom DID NOT just fall on me one day, it all came at the hand of much experienced parents who looked back and said “hey, lets help out other moms who are struggling” AND they wrote a book just to help us mamas with martians ….oops I meant BOYS!

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Homeschooling a Boy (Part 1)


If you’re a mom of boys, then you know what I mean! They are just WIRED differently! Mostly, they’re just WIRED. I don’t necessarily mean they’re hyperactive, I mean within themselves their BRAINS are running 90 miles per second.

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Quantity Time or Quality Time?


Quality time is something mothers who choose to ship their child off to daycare strive for. Quantity time is what is REALLY/em> important though. Why? Because if enough quantity of your time is invested in your children then you’ll be ther when the quality time happens by. You just can’t schedule quality time, quality time just happens in the midst of things, in singular moments…just living life – Melanie Young

What a nugget of wisdom!! I love this woman! She nailed it!! You can no more schedule quality time than you can schedule when your child will learn a certain concept! It just happens one day by chance after much prayer and many trials and a whole lot of effort. Quality time is the same! You invest and invest and invest your time into your child and then one day out of the blue in a split second you see the pay off…..late one evening in the midst of doing a million things you find yourself lost in conversation with one of your children. Not because you’re sitting around the dinner table, not because you’ve setup this “date” with your child, no it’s just spontaneous and you were lucky enough to be present when quality happened by.

Rest assured sweet mamas, don’t stress over quality time…..just focus on quantity time, invest invest invest,be there as much as possible through your homeschooling efforts and just know in your heart that quality time will happen by much more frequently when the quantity of time is being invested!

What a great day with TOS Magazine at their event!!

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TOS Homeschool Event Pigeon Froge


If you’re here, lemme know! Awesome afternoon listening to Hal and Melanie Young
(pure awesomeness). Watch for my blogpost about it in a little while, at the moment I have 2 lil ones pulling at me begging for food…..ohhhhhh what nuggets of wisdom were shared today! Whole blogposts could be gleaned from each one! Livin it up here @ The Wilderness

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