Saint Mommy The Martyr

mom, mama, mum, mummy, mom, mommy, mumma, mom, mom, mommy………..

Sometimes I look at my children after a particularly hard day and I tell them that my name has now changed, they may now call me ANYTHING except MOM or MOMMY. I really don’t mean I’m not their mom anymore, I just mean…..I need a break from being pulled at, tattled to, and yelled for. I usually sit the kids down and make them declare a 30 minute TRUCE or ATLEAST a ceasefire for the thirty minutes prior to my husband arriving home from work. I send them off to their rooms telling them not to speak to each other or me unless the house catches fire or they are bleeding ;). They know what I mean by that….they know I’m still mommy, I still love them but mommy needs a few minutes alone to prepare for dad to come home.


Ladies, you need that few minutes….everyone needs it. We need to take time to go check the mirror and see how rough we look from the battles of the day and fix that. We need to take time to look in the mirror, did we wear this outfit yesterday (and the 2 previous days as well)? Go change! Then MAKE YOUR Bed and LAY ON it and close your eyes and MENTALLY PREPARE yourself to greet hubby and be WIFE.

Maybe, you’re like me….my husband is Deputy Sheriff and he works 2 mos of days(6a-6p) and 2 mos of nights (6p-6a). When he is on the overnights, I usually take the kids off to the library to do their schooling…it helps the house be extra quiet and he can rest, I make the effort to be home around the time he usually wakes up and when his feet hit the floor, school is o-v-e-r.

I’m not saying WORSHIP your husband, I’m just saying remember you’re more than just a mom.

I’m not saying worship your spouse, all I am saying is we need to keep in mind that our MARRIAGE is the foundation upon which our families are built. If we aren’t taking TIME to invest into being good wives…then in our folly, we are tearing down our own house. I’m not a super good submissive wife, I’m definitely a “type A”, I don’t have to be super good, I don’t have to be a doormat but I am required to invest my time, efforts and energy. as much or more into my marriage as I do my homeschool!

Ladies, I know we were designed to nurture!

Ladies, I know we were designed to nurture! I mean for Pete’s sake, we are the carriers of the children, we have the boobs, we do the feeding! I get it! I too carried my little ones in my womb and gave them their lifeblood, I breastfed (4 years in a row TANDEM). I understand. Your children were born, laid upon your chest and you looked at them and thought

THIS is my entire world

One by one as each child was born, each became your world, your center, your focus, your LIFE. My 2 likewise are all those things to me….but we must be careful to remember that there is more in our lives than just our children.

Kids are great! But one day…they grow up and leave and cleave to their own spouses

Our children are great, we would give them our last breath, last bite of food, last drop of water, donate our hearts to them, we would sacrifice it all for our children. Lets get real though, that is rarely required and we don’t need to go around sacrificing our marriages at the altar of teaching little Johnny arithmetic…..or teaching little Susie to read…..and certainly not at the altar of building our childrens “self confidence, self image,…whatever you want to name” up so far in importance that they overtake the very foundation upon which they stand….our marriages!


Allow your children the privilege of seeing what a healthy marriage looks like, so that one day they too may enjoy and reap the benefits of one. Your children will live what they see at home.

Do not become Saint Mommy The Martyr

Don’t let your kids see you be Saint Mommy The Martyr sacrificing all…your time, your efforts, your energy, your marriage at the feet of the altar of themselves. Instead give your kids 23 hours a day sure but RESERVE at least 1 AWAKE hour every day and devote that hour to having time with your spouse….turn on a movie, let it be your babysitter, go sit in the next room and even if all you do is lay your head in his lap, or his in yours, and even if all you do is fall asleep holding hands for that 1 hour… have set the example. You have shown your children that your marriage is important, it is vital, and you are INVESTED in it. Not only that but you’ve shown your SPOUSE that he/she just as important to you as your children and your homeschool.

NO CHILD ever ended up in counseling complaining that their parents loved each other to much

It’s true… child ever ended up as an adult in therapy saying “gosh yanno, my mom she just loved my dad to much and they took this hour away from me everyday and they just went in the den and made us kids stay in the living room and they sat in there and had a conversation! Would you believe that!! They went in there and held hands and talked and they told us not to interrupt them! They sat in there sometimes and all they did was hold hands and fall asleep! ABUSE, ABUSE AND NEGLECT I say”

Uhmmmm, are you seeing how absurd that would be? NO child EVER ended up damaged because their parents loved each other and devoted time to their marriages……so stop what you’re doing….catch a nap time, an hour after bedtime, an hour before awake time….just whenever there is an AWAKE HOUR and don’t you dare tell me your spouse is never awake at the same time you are……and devote that hour to strengthening your marriage even if that hour is spent just sitting down savoring the quiet ;).





Filed under homeschool, Homeschooler, Homeschooling

14 responses to “Saint Mommy The Martyr

  1. You know I needed to hear this! Thanks for the reminder– we hear how much we’re needed and not necessarily coming through for all our wee kiddos that, at times, even martyrdom doesn’t seem like enough… so what’s a few more moments of letting down the kiddos (who really want us every minute of the day until they turn 13, when they never want to see us again), while we hang with the hubbies? Nice post.

  2. ummm. youre my hero… seriously! hahaha its lovely to read, your own thoughs, in the words of someone else. i just made the decision to homeschool my daughter, who is three, and making amazing progress with her pre-school activities, but we’re so much more than teacher, and mother… it was really refreshing to read this post. i will be following your posts from now on! insightful, and appreciated! – A

    • ❤ I'm so glad you enjoyed it and these pre school years are the HARDEST for mamas!!! They're strong enough to walk, but not old enough to have good judgement hahaha!!! Oh I miss it! Don't rush it….don't jump into the "schooling" thing to early…it REALLY isn't necessary…don't stress much with a 3 yo….so many people ask me about preschooling…ima give you some mama to mama advice, PLAY DOH is your HERO lol ;). Forget anything formal…play with play doh and color (if she likes to color). I nearly broke myself trying to homeschool 3&4 year old kiddos LOL. I took myself and homeschooling wayyyyyyy to serious back then 😉 Now 7 years later, I realize…..nobody cares that my girl could read at 3, nor do they care that my boy didn't learn to read well til he was 8….the only thing that matters is the end result 15 or so years from now for you 😉

      • hahah omg i SO do torture myself. i DO get way too serious about it all. That was actually todays post! haha being too serious, and wishing i could just allow her to be creative. its DEFINITELY something i need to work on! i have not yet had a chance to read your other posts, but im excited to learn about you and your family! i feel like your blog is going to be a godsend to me… i am homeschooling, and DIVORCED. so this will all be interesting in the years to come!!!!!

      • Aw how sweet. Homeschool moms are naturally Type A 😉 which means my kids weren’t allowed to play with Legos til like last year LOLOLOL bc I had to get over myself and lettem build without adhering to instructions LOL

  3. Love your post! I wonder did you also have wify-hubby time when your children were stil under 3y?

  4. This is wonderful! I always did put my man first–mostly for my own sanity when the kids were little. I needed that time to be something other than a human kleenex. (Always wiping something it seemed!) My kids are now older (9-17 years) and they roll their eyes at us good-naturedly when we get too cozy–which is often. But they smile while doing it and they all say they want a marriage like ours. Mamas, it is worth the effort!!

  5. I loved this! I often see families doing the opposite, they are so worried about doing everything for thier kids thier marrige gets lost int he shuffle. I need to steal the idea of taking 30 minutes before he comes home to regroup, destress and make sure I don’t look like a complete wreck when he comes home. I think I can mange my time to put this in to practice this week! Thanks.

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